Furball Aerospace

Category: Missions

  • Next Stop: The Fridge Top

    Next Stop: The Fridge Top

    Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    Experts agree that a countdown that always ends in a sneeze is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.

  • Reentry Burns and Other Sunbeam Hazards

    Reentry Burns and Other Sunbeam Hazards

    Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around fuel made of dry kibble.

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a crew that only works in short bursts is not a bug. It is the product.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Experts agree that a flight plan taped to the cabinet is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.

  • Our Rocket Is Mostly a Toilet Paper Tube

    Our Rocket Is Mostly a Toilet Paper Tube

    A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a countdown that always ends in a sneeze is not a bug. It is the product.

    The old guard prefers fuel made of dry kibble. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    Thank you for reading, and please do not leave anything on the edge of a surface. You know why.

  • Launch Sequence: Crouch, Wiggle, Jump

    Launch Sequence: Crouch, Wiggle, Jump

    Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: fuel made of dry kibble is not a bug. It is the product.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    As always, results may vary, fur may transfer, and the management accepts no responsibility for the hairball.