Furball Aerospace

Tag: space

  • Next Stop: The Fridge Top

    Next Stop: The Fridge Top

    Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    Experts agree that a countdown that always ends in a sneeze is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.

  • Space Suits Are Out of the Question

    Space Suits Are Out of the Question

    A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    The old guard prefers fuel made of dry kibble. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    Our standard approach involves a flight plan taped to the cabinet, followed by a crew that only works in short bursts, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    As always, results may vary, fur may transfer, and the management accepts no responsibility for the hairball.

  • Reentry Burns and Other Sunbeam Hazards

    Reentry Burns and Other Sunbeam Hazards

    Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around fuel made of dry kibble.

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a crew that only works in short bursts is not a bug. It is the product.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Experts agree that a flight plan taped to the cabinet is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.

  • Mission Control Is Under the Sofa

    Mission Control Is Under the Sofa

    At Furball Aerospace, we try to keep things simple, which means we complicate them and then take a nap.

    Experts agree that a crew that only works in short bursts is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.

  • Our Rocket Is Mostly a Toilet Paper Tube

    Our Rocket Is Mostly a Toilet Paper Tube

    A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a countdown that always ends in a sneeze is not a bug. It is the product.

    The old guard prefers fuel made of dry kibble. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    Thank you for reading, and please do not leave anything on the edge of a surface. You know why.

  • Zero Gravity Training on the Curtain

    Zero Gravity Training on the Curtain

    We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.

    Our standard approach involves a flight plan taped to the cabinet, followed by a countdown that always ends in a sneeze, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a crew that only works in short bursts is not a bug. It is the product.

    That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.